Holy Spirit guide my heart as I write this:
The heaviness I was carrying made it difficult to get in the front door of our house after church a couple of months ago. Church was a huge let down. Not because of our Pastor instead the spirit of anxiety I carried. Strong enough to prevent me from entering the sanctuary for service. Instead my amazing Christian sister sits with me just outside the sanctuary doors. I twitched my leg back and forth listening to our Pastor preach on a bible story of a man who ran up to the front and asked for demons to be rebuked. Wow the urge to run up to our Pastor in the middle of the service and plead for my church family to help me. Getting a pain in my side I quickly scurry back down to the church basement where I felt safe watching the summer Sunday school take place.
Hunger for church is an understatment. I was starving but such a force was holding me back. As we drove home tears clouded my vision. "What is wrong with me? I need church so bad yet I can't even sit in on a service." I thought to myself.
Once home down into our rec room I went to surround myself in my safety net. Wondering if my problem would ever ever end. I look out the same old window and pray for the day I wouldn't feel so alone and safe to go outdoors.
About half and hour later the Pastor's wife comes down into our rec room and shares she was thinking of me. I was in shock. I talk to her once in a while but for her to come over during my struggles was amazing to me. She then came over and sat down beside me and asked how I was doing and asked if it was ok to pray for me. She then said, "I brought a whole bus load of people to surround your house and pray."
It took a second for the whole busload comment to sink in and I started to cry and said, "The whole bus came to pray?"
See it was beach day and many of our youth and a few families were heading to the beach. One of my Christian brothers had on his heart during that mornings church service to come pray for me. He then came down and greeted me with tears and a big hug and comforting reasurance he was there for me. He too knows personally of my struggles.
Within moments over 50 brothers and sisters, young and old, even the bus driver surrounded our home and prayed for me. Seeing the youth out with their eyes closed for me was a surreal moment. Even if they were thinking only of the beach or what was brought for snacks the fact that they surrounded my house and made such an impact it will never ever be forgotten. As I am down in our rec room I go to that window to see my church family standing outside with their heads bowed praying. I was sobbing without control. One of my very dear christians brothers come to the window and we touch hands on the screen. He prayed and I cried and I kept saying, "Thank you, thank you."
I felt amazing and they all clapped. I so wanted to go to the beach with them but really what just happened was so overwhelming for me and felt so darn good, keeping that moment without distractions of the beach felt safer. Our kids were so excited and yet surprised they all surrounded our house. We all waved out the front door as they drove off to continue with their day at the beach.
Me on the other hand sobbed for about half and hour after they left. I felt peace, excited, overwhelmed, thankful and wondered if they all knew how much that changed my course of recovery. I have never felt so loved in my life.
After that moment every time I looked out the window I saw the house surrounded by an army. God's loving Army. No guns, tanks or government control. God's obedient children just stopping by on the way to the beach to pray for our little family. So many to thank but I praise God that he heard my cry of wanting to be a part of church and really needing prayer that day. He knew how I wanted to run up to the pulpit and get the whole church to pray for me.
He loves me and my family so much he sent a whole bus load. He heard my cry. My friend, Andy for listening to his heart during service. So exciting how God works. I love them all so much.