Friday, November 1, 2013

Promise of a rainbow

The kids began complaining and asked a zillion times, "Mom when are they going to call us in?"  The dreaded wait in the waiting room to followup with Emma's Neurologist.  Just when we are all ready to give up 45 minutes later the doctor finally comes out to collect Emma's CD with her MRI pictures we had to get from the doctor she had before we adopted her.  Along with the CD I shared all the medical records we have ordered from old doctors.  Off the doctor went with our information to look it over.

I am so disappointed in myself because at that point I should have covered my family in prayer.  Shielded us from worldly diagnosis and words.

The kids helped give a quick little update once we settled in the patient room.  "Is it OK to show you the images?" the doctor asked.  I was so succumbed by the excitement of learning about Emma's brain that I forgot about praying quickly in my head for what they were about to say medically.

"This part here is abnormal," and "See this section here should look like this," I heard for four parts of her wee brain.  Too me it looked perfect.  Emma is perfect.  To God she is perfect.  I was overwhelmed with everything the doctor showed and explained.  I asked if my other three kids could see the pictures of Emma's brain.  After a few giggles we all settled back in the patient room. 

I honestly had no questions.  What could I possibly ask after hearing Emma's little brain was abnormal in many places?  "Mrs. Clemmer Emma has a 50-60% chance of having seizures," doctor says.  Instantly I was taken back 11 years ago when Troy was 2 pounds in his isolette in NICU and he had to be given medication for seizures.  That was the hardest thing to watch as a mom as his tiny body arched back trying to cry but stopped by ventilation tubes down his throat.  "Oh God I am not prepared for seizures," I silently whispered in my own heart.

Discussion began regarding seizure medication, what to do and what not to do should it happen.  Along with hearing not sure if she will walk, they warned of not being able to talk, not being able to take care of herself in later years, her life span and be prepared for many communication devices etc.  Earthly words.  I knew that as soon as I heard them but because i forgot to pray before I feel i did not have my shield up. 

On the way home I felt as though I had been stung.  I felt a yuck.  I felt unsure. 

See this picture of the rainbow below my son Troy took on our way home from Hamilton that day.  WOW.  Thank you God for reminding me of your promises.  While rainbows are of a promise of no more flooding I always feel such a love when I gaze at its beauty.  It reminds me not of just one promise but of God's many promises in His word.  Promises He has for Emma.  He has amazing plans for her.  See while doctors have great information God has the best information. He doesn't tell us we will never walk, never talk and live so long.

I chose to put on Gods glasses and when His glasses scan I bring Heaven to Earth and I see a perfect little brain.  I see the beauty God made in His little princess.  I see the glow in her heart.  I see the determination He has blessed her with.   These glasses are priceless, non shatter proof.  They come with a relationship with Him.  How can I possibly live without His glasses? 

The last words the doctors said before we left that day were considering all the MRI scans revealed, Emma far exceeds the diagnosis.  Children with those similar images were not near where Emma was. 

Darn right she exceeds cause God has plans for her.  He is already healing her.  Having a church family and a few family members along with Dean, myself and her sister and brothers praying for her, loving on her Emma is gonna rock this earth.  So grateful we were chosen for her and her for us. 

Pot of gold is the promise in the rainbow. 


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