A week long day

Monday Feb 10 I watched as Dean took three of our kids to school and say, "See you in 10 days."
Not long
after Emma and I loaded up in the van and drove Dean over to our Selah Fire gathering home where our mission team was to leave on our usual yellow bus.

Honestly after four years of going to Peru my emotions were that of a Dairy Queen blizzard.  The coldness I felt as I had a tinge of jealously Dean was going and I was staying home. The smell of the sweetness was that of all the hugs Dean would give from the both of us.  Can not forget the yummy candy and that is of my husband who was going to be off on a 10 day mission trip.  Ten days of doing God's work. 

I knew he would not be stuck in some factory welding.  Trying to make money.  Earthly treasure.  While I missed the routine of him coming home each night after work I knew each day he would arrive back at the Casa de Paz, orphanage after a treasure hunt/prayer walk and would love on the children/family there.

Each night I had to hurry the kids to bed as I was so tired.  As my head hit the pillow I would think of how tired I was those years I went to bed but knowing I had done Gods work all day so made it worth while.  As I closed my eyes I felt proud knowing my husband was out doing that work.

Day after day would go by.  Kids were in school.  Two major projects to complete.  Reading to do.  Two Brownie meetings to lead. Hot tub to get rid of (surprise for Dean).  Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday... they all went by all 10 of them. 

Those around me said how fast the days went as we approached the night before Dean.  I felt as though I had no response.  Ten days did not feel quick nor long.  So much had happened and been full busy days that the first feeling that popped in my head to describe our ten days home here in Drayton was a week that felt like one big day.

I love what God is doing our little family.  Mission trips are like no other experience.  We do not build homes or schools but rather relationships with God right dab in the centre.  Our family in Peru have invited us to their weddings and to their child's baptism.  A few of our friends have flown up to stay with us here in Drayton.

As I have the Oscars on in the background I can not help but think of a night where missionaries go up to receive a heavenly treasure and the only person we thank in our acceptance speech is God.  For He plans our steps.

Goodnight

Rosemary we love you! (our adoption worker)

Spirit guide me with my words:

After careful prayer along with many conversations, Dean and I decided to switch our process from the route of fostering to adoption.  We had no idea who our new worker would be.  I carried an emptiness after the passing of our last worker.

Pushing our front door closed for the last time, flashes of home visits with our worker came into my mind like clicking the arrow to go to the next picture.  It was over one year ago we had our first meeting together to discuss the picture we fell in love with.  First visit began what would be many heart to heart conversations.

As we looked at little "Rosie's" printed picture on the table we were told her real was Emma and Rosemary, our adoption worker shared more personal information regarding Emma's history.

Our adoption journey then began.  From January 2012-July 2012 there were many home visits, too many emails to count and a few phone calls with Rosemary.  Our relationship with Rosemary blossomed into a very special connection.  Only God could put it into place.  Her love for our family was so obvious as we laughed together, cried together and her complete acceptance of our faith.  Rosemary became an advocate for our family making sure all pieces including financial support were in place.

Rosemary was so patient and laughed with understanding as I emailed her once a week checking on where our adoption process was.

Then came July 2012 and within three weekends we met Emma and her amazing foster family.  We traveled a good distance for two weekends to spend time with her and precious time with her foster family.  Before we knew it we were packing the last of her belongings in our van and driving three and a half hours home.

Rosemary had home visits after Emma came home.  During this whole process what I didn't realize was the huge spiritual attack I was under.  That attack became all about anxiety and fear.  Real bad.  Without getting into specifics I was completely terrified to tell Rosemary.  Would she take Emma away?  What would she think of me? 

The morning before her one visit I battled telling her about my huge struggles.  Shortly after she walked in the door I couldn't hold it in any longer.  I began crying and we sat out the couch and I shared. Rosemary at that moment became a huge part of my recovery.

Her level of understanding, love, comfort and support far exceeded that of which I expected from an adoption worker.  She did not indicate Emma would leave LOL.  Instead I embraced her reassurance that struggles can be normal.  Her hug that day when she left meant the world to me. She was not there to criticize or call me a failure or say that's what I get for adopting. Every day after that I got stronger and stronger thanks to many around us but I had the most unbelievable comfort I could have called Rosemary at any moment.

As we approached our last visit before the finalization of Emma's papers I honestly disliked that she would not have any more visits.  We love her very much and her love for our family.  Rosemary was sent into our lives from God at the right time to get God's treasure he had planned. Fostering didn't work for us because God had other plans two years later.  We look forward to having Rosemary at Emma's dedication.

Thanks Rosemary!!!!
GOD IS SO GOOD>

BUCKET LIST

Spirit I am listening....

As I sit on my couch resting for a few minutes to a couple of tunes coming from the satellite, I can not help but look out my window and glance over at my neighbors house.  Late last year she found out she has breast cancer and liver cancer.  The night before her breast surgery a couple of Christian sisters and myself went over and watched as the Holy Spirit touched her deep inside.  Darn right we expect healing from our Daddy God.

In one of my glances out the window I find myself wondering or asking what would I be like in that type of situation.  Just where my mind wanders as Satan(anxiety) uses every opportunity to destroy.  I love it cause I pull out my armour (doesn't even hurt my back).  In reality I allow a release from my heart (Jesus/Spirit) to take over and kick out the yuck thoughts.

I realize though there is seriousness to these types of situations.  As I bring Jesus out I start to ask, "Lord am I where you want me to be?  And say, "Lord I want to live out my destiny that you have planned out.  I do not want to get to Heaven and apologize for not following what is on my heart that you put there."

You see I don't have your typical bucket list.  Is it fair to say that most bucket lists look like this:
*win a million dollars
*bigger house
*fancier car
*no debt
*lots of clothes
*pretty kitchen
*boat
*other outdoor toys
*many trips
*big screen TVs
*cottage
etc etc etc

My heart does not crave any of that stuff in the way most do.

*I want to go to the hospital where my moms friend has been for one year after a stroke and watch her healing.
*I want to take my family to Peru for however long God needs us there.
*I want to take scriptures to my friend/neighbor who is battling cancer as often as I can and pray for Heavling
*I want to pray for my brother and sister-in-law to find awesome jobs in Australia.
*I want to raise money for families who need equipment and other needs for children/adults with special abilities
*I have the need to hand out valentines to say they are loved to people I don't know on Valentines Day.
*I want people to know how much they are loved by Jesus
*I want people to know not all "Churches" are the same
*I want people to know they are forgiven
*I want street people to know they are loved
*I want people in prison to know they are loved
I could go on and on.

But as I think about my time to meet Jesus, I do not want to look up at his precious Holy face and say, "I am so sorry Father I did not do all those things you put on my heart."

I do not want to hear Him ask, "Why not?  I would have given you everything you needed."

There is no good enough excuse I could possibly tell the King of all Kings.  He died for me.  ME.  Died! I have this time only now to love on people and help cause when we get to Heaven there will be no helping it will be perfect.  People need to see the beauty and perfection of Heaven here and now.  My family needs to come to Heaven.  Imagine a perfect family gathering in Heaven.  My friends need to eat chips with me in Heaven.  The hurting need to know there is no hurts with Daddy God in heaven.  Those with physical and mental needs deserve to have a taste of Heaven where their bodies will be whole and new and free.  All the lost deserve to be found and get to share in the Heavens.

I am a follower!

Spirit be with me as I write this.

For one month now our family has been attending ministry in a school gym.  Previous we attended another church in our small town.  It doesn't matter which one.  Those who know us will know which one.  The pastor of that church had many conversations with God and realized he was at a crossroad, the church was at a crossroad.  Many in the church would say they carried a feeling in their hearts of reaching a crossroad. 

My personal definition of crossroad being defined as a group who are content in one space and the others who are hungry for so much more without the dictation from a manual or man made rules but rely solely on the Holy Spirit/God/Jesus.

We were so blessed to have our Pastor announce that he was leaving the church and beginning a ministry with the support of another ministry.  The blessing was that many of his services he revisited teaching us we must listen to God to know where we would attend church in the new year.

Five years ago our family started to attend the church and our Pastor/friend/brother because of his devotion to our Papa God and teaching us each Sunday from the BIBLE and from his personal life has given Dean and I the platform to totally change our lives.  Growing up Catholic I personally thought the Priest was to do everything; pray for people, visit hospitals, heal, talk to God and go once a year in a booth to repent to a little hole in the wall.  In saying that I am so thankful for the life of growing up in church. 

Everything our Pastor was telling us every Sunday is in the bible.  It is so simple.  While rules are important everything we are to do is in one book, His word, The Bible. 

It tells me to talk to God myself-   'God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ' (11 Cor. 4:6).

I can repent everyday myself- 'Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord' (Acts 3:19)

I can pray and ask for Jesus to heal through me- 'And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues' (1 Corinthians 12:28).

There is so much I could highlight that yep I can do.  Little me, mom of four kids who has sinned, and will sin again.  No walls came crashing down when I entered the church.  The only ones that did were the ones that Satan put up.  This teaching didn't come from a certain denomination of church it came from a devoted Pastor.  His love of God, love of the Spirit, love of Jesus, love for all people no matter where there walk is with the Lord and love for God's word.  No matter where our Pastor goes the whole faith package goes with him.  Like many big name followers (12 disciples and more) in the Bible, I chose to be one of them.  Some call us "Pastor" followers (substitute pastor for his real name).  In a way yes our family is following him he is a good man who puts the bible before all else and his family is precious but sorry we are following the Man our Pastor holds in his heart.  The Papa God he teaches that loves us.

Ministry can be held anywhere and definitely anytime.  On Sundays that gym is transformed into an amazing room of worship and so many can feel the love as they walk in.  When one feels freedom the Lord has a new space to move and create new things in. 

Thank you God for Selah Fire!
I can't wait until you make the walls tremble and the earth shake.