Cake and Icecream

Thank you Lord for doing manicures.

My business is slow over the winter months.  Clients have their toes covered up with socks and fluffy slippers and hands that are cracked and full of creams.  With the winter we have had it is hard to think of getting a manicure or pedicure.  

Last night I was excited to go see a client in Palmerston.  She had received a gift certificate for Christmas.  I have never met her before. 

As we exchanged hellos she led me to her apartment. My favorite part of my job is I get to peacefully listen as clients tell me all about their precious lives.  Story after Story.   God reminds me to be silent and listen.  Each story I fall in love with the people He has created and how imperfect they are just like me.  He has taught me through my brothers and sisters to love one another as He loves us. 

Laughter was shared lots last night and I reveal part of my life as well.  I love how I did not even bring up faith and she shared her belief but does not always attend church.  God gives me yet another opportunity to possibly pray at the end of the manicure.  Not because I feel I have to but after learning my client had breast cancer two years ago and well I can't reveal physical visuals she needs to protect her privacy, my heart was feeling she just needed to feel loved and that God is standing right with her in all aspects of her life apart from constant check ups.

Lots of our life's stories were left out in the air with the fresh smell of nail polish as I began to clean up. 

"Do you mind if I pray with you?" I asked shyly but boldly.

"Sure," she agreed.

As I sat beside her on the couch I laid my hand on her shoulder and smiling told her to relax and let me do the praying.

Can I just say I love God.  I love my faith and because of Him I have the honor of praying for another sister.  I could give a hug, give a card, just listen and say, "wow what a life," and even give her a discount later on just because.  Those are all great ways to tell someone how special they are.  For me though (hugs is my 2nd favorite), to get up and sit beside her, put my hand on her shoulder and tell her how much she is loved by God, to ask for healing, to bless her heart, to thank Him for one little moment of doing nails and pray with someone is an unbelievable feeling. 

In the middle of our prayer there is a knock on the door and someone walks in and gives my client a piece of cake and ice cream.  A tradition where she lives on Friday nights.  I was so sad our prayer was interrupted but found it funny for some reason.  My client was floored that someone would knock and walk in  asthey normally do not do that.

My head was trying to figure out what God was saying with our prayer being interrupted.  It took me a moment and during our laughter I looked at the plate and then her and said,

"God wants you to know that life is sweet!"

I believe He interrupted our prayer to remind her and myself that Life is Sweet!

Our life of faith

God be with those that read my blogs about you.  May they have an open mind and know how I love to share what you are doing in our lives and so how real You are.

Saturday morning I found myself in a meeting with other people from Selah fire (church) who lead small groups.  We gathered to share all that God was doing in our groups.  Encouragement fills the room as all who shared about their groups is full of amazing stories and beginnings.

Finishing up anyone was invited to sit in the centre to get prayer.  Usually at this time I always chuckle and wonder if I should just quick run and sit in the chair.  I love to have prayer.   To have my Selah family surround me and love on me with prayer is like no other feeling.  I did not get up and run this time.  Instead another lady took the chair and asked for prayer in a certain area of her life.

As our pastor began to pray and talking about "anointing" I immediately had a vision of Jesus standing at steps.  They seemed to be steps in her house.  Voices around the room began to filter up prayers and not hearing a word they were saying I zoned in on my vision.  I was asking myself why Jesus was not moving up those steps.  He seemed stuck there.  "Lord should I ask her if she has steps in her house?  Why are you stuck at the bottom of the steps?" I asked with my eyes closed.  I then thought to myself I will see if He moves as others move through their prayers.  Still not hearing a word anyone was saying my heart began to beat fast, I felt something so strong and yucky about Jesus being stuck at those steps.  My hands began to sweat.  Doubt began to set in.  I began to feel as though this lady needed to anoint those steps and the steps of the person in her life we were praying for.  The moment came and I asked, "Do you have steps in your house?"  Oh gosh she is going to say no.

"Yes I do. " she confirmed.

"I really feel like God wants you to anoint those steps and those steps of who we are praying for.  I feel like Jesus is stuck at those steps" I explained and began to cry as it began to feel more and more like a strong hold there.  This is a first time this has happened with so much emotion during a prayer. I still had little phrases of doubt pop in and out like, "Way to go Heather, really Jesus at the steps, everyone has steps in their house.  Your just emotional cause you are a loser." Satan says passing on one of his infamous lies.

"Heather," the lady says, "Four years ago I was praying in and over my house and when I looked over at my steps Satan was standing right in front of those steps" she confirmed.  "I thought I had kicked him out but He must be back." (paraphrased)

At this point I began to fill with excitement and emotion.  God had used me in that moment.  I wasn't done though.  Our pastor asked me to pray into that vision.  I do not remember my exact prayer but it definitely was to smash Satan while he stood at her steps.  We all stomped and emotion was not hiding.  What a fun moment.

If I had not been there at that moment, with the faith that I have, surrounded by sisters and brothers of faith our friend may not have got the vision I had.  If I trust and have faith He, God speaks and reveals.  It may all seem unreal to some but when moments actually happen to you like this you know with  your heart of hearts it is really true.  I had a vision and the lady we were praying for confirmed it. 

Luke 11:1

[ Jesus’ Teaching on Prayer ] One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.”

 

Luke 4:18

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free.

 

God is good.

Oh and REAL

A week long day

Monday Feb 10 I watched as Dean took three of our kids to school and say, "See you in 10 days."
Not long
after Emma and I loaded up in the van and drove Dean over to our Selah Fire gathering home where our mission team was to leave on our usual yellow bus.

Honestly after four years of going to Peru my emotions were that of a Dairy Queen blizzard.  The coldness I felt as I had a tinge of jealously Dean was going and I was staying home. The smell of the sweetness was that of all the hugs Dean would give from the both of us.  Can not forget the yummy candy and that is of my husband who was going to be off on a 10 day mission trip.  Ten days of doing God's work. 

I knew he would not be stuck in some factory welding.  Trying to make money.  Earthly treasure.  While I missed the routine of him coming home each night after work I knew each day he would arrive back at the Casa de Paz, orphanage after a treasure hunt/prayer walk and would love on the children/family there.

Each night I had to hurry the kids to bed as I was so tired.  As my head hit the pillow I would think of how tired I was those years I went to bed but knowing I had done Gods work all day so made it worth while.  As I closed my eyes I felt proud knowing my husband was out doing that work.

Day after day would go by.  Kids were in school.  Two major projects to complete.  Reading to do.  Two Brownie meetings to lead. Hot tub to get rid of (surprise for Dean).  Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday... they all went by all 10 of them. 

Those around me said how fast the days went as we approached the night before Dean.  I felt as though I had no response.  Ten days did not feel quick nor long.  So much had happened and been full busy days that the first feeling that popped in my head to describe our ten days home here in Drayton was a week that felt like one big day.

I love what God is doing our little family.  Mission trips are like no other experience.  We do not build homes or schools but rather relationships with God right dab in the centre.  Our family in Peru have invited us to their weddings and to their child's baptism.  A few of our friends have flown up to stay with us here in Drayton.

As I have the Oscars on in the background I can not help but think of a night where missionaries go up to receive a heavenly treasure and the only person we thank in our acceptance speech is God.  For He plans our steps.

Goodnight

To bow or not to bow heads

Today I attended a funeral for a friend of ours and during the service I was reminded how my heart tells me to lift my head while we prayed.  For me this is not new.  Everytime someone says bow your head in prayers I find myself raising my face to God. 

I did a teeny bit of research to see why we actual bow our heads when praying.  Here is what I found; that is not scriptural persay or is a must.  It is a sign of adoration, submission, means of respecting God is King, humbling yourself and probably many more.

Being at my friends funeral I wanted and needed to look up.  When my kids are hurting they look up to me for comfort.  It is only when they do something wrong do their little heads go down.

Why I look up.  My reasoning seems so simple.   If I bow my head I do not feel His light on my face.  As though I am missing something by looking down.  I raise as though to say, "God I praise you and thank you despite losing my friend."  I feel darkness when I look down.  Brightness shining as I close my eyes and head up.  As though I am a cat soaking up the sun on the only spot on the floor.

Basically it doesn't matter how I pray or you pray.  I chose to face our God when I am talking to Him.
It is not up to a "church" or man to dictate how my relationship should be with Him.  The fact that when I do it my heart is sincere and looking to Him is all He can ask for.

How to pray?

Do you get offended if people don't pray the same as you?
Do you think people need to have their hands together?
Do you think people need to pray out loud?
Do you think people need to pray for a long time to be heard?

I have a secret:  It does not matter what the heck you think.

Do you think there is a perfect prayer?
Do you think there is a perfect praying time?
Do you think one person can pray better then another?

Let me ask you a question:  (OK another question) "What is prayer for?" See how long it takes for an answer to pop in your head.

Prayer to me is talking.  Talking to Jesus.  Yep a good ole' relationship.  This relationship there is no hiding anything cause He knows me better then anyone.

Our relationship is unique which means it is different then everyone else.  It means in my relationship with Jesus I talk to Him some days alot and other days it is quiet. I talk to Him when doing the dishes.  He also talks to me and puts things on my heart different then anyone else I know.  There are days when I talk/pray to Him I am in tears, or prayers that last a few minutes.  Most times it is a quick thank you or as someone I know pops on my heart I quickly prayer.  Lets be honest if I was to sit down and physically pray for all I know who are going through something right now...I would be praying 8 hours a day.  I talk/pray as things come into my heart.

When I first started my walk I used to love the way others would pray out loud and the big fancy smancy words they would use and could not wait to be just like them.  How wrong was that?  In other words I was asking for the same relationship they had.  Prayer is often times a download from Jesus to us especially when praying for others.  I have learned though that I have my own fun relationship with Him.  He downloads to me what works for Him and I.  He gives me pictures I will get and share.  He gives my fun things only I would get.  All in all anything He can to bring me closer.

Most know Deans brother and their family with six kids lost there home to a fire last week and now their son is the hospital (unrelated to fire) just getting out of critical care because of infection.  I have not felt the need to be on my knees for hours praying.  Instead I have said little prayers as little Isaiah's name flows onto my heart. 

I am OK with where my relationship is.  I do not need to or want to be where anyone else is when they pray.

In the bible Jesus said prayers like, "Be healed," or "Go Forth," and even, "Pick up your mat and walk."  And then there were times He went away for a long time just to be with His father, God to get the downloads He needed. 

What does prayer sound like to you?
How long does it have to be to feel like it is worth something?
Do you have to be in a specific spot?
Does it need to be quiet around you?
Do you only pray at church?
Do you pray with others?
What about praying outloud?
Or is it in the quiet of your own head?
Is your head up?
Are your hands together?
Do you wisper those prayers?
Are you prayers sung?
Do you read your prayers from a book?

If you are praying and talking to Jesus and listening to him it does not matter to me how you answered the above questions.  Nor should it matter to anyone else. 

Please just keep talking! That means the communication lines are open!

Earthly Stroke vs. Heavenly Stroke

Lord bless my words:

As I parked our van in the wheelchair parking spot I found myself in a daze.  My son and daughter colouring in the back waiting for the word to get out and go into the hospital.  I have parked her lots before to visit a princess.

On the first floor in room 108 is Joanne.  That hospital has been her home for over a year.  Joanne suffered a major stroke which in Satan's mind has left her paralyzed.  I could write on and on about all the equipment in her room.  My heart tells me though that is what Satan wants me to see and what he wants you to see when you go the hospital to visit people you know and love.  I do not visit Joanne because I feel bad for her and feel obligated because it is my moms very dear friend.

You see I have something Joanne needs inside her and needs to hear.  So simple.  It is Jesus.  When I go to see her thanks to Jesus I see the princess He sees.  I feel the love He has for her.  I have a great sense of the great plans He has for her.  He wants her to know how much He loves her.  Her precious body needs the Holy Spirit trickling through her veins oh and pumping in her heart.  She deserves to know there is a freedom and peace that she owns thanks to Jesus. 

I have taken Joanne worship music.  I bought her a dollar store princess crown and it sits on her shelf. But today I spoke a prayer over her with little response and that was to accept Jesus into her heart.  "Lord forgive her sins,  may her heart accept You and invite you in.  Lord may she continue to commit all she has to you."  The best gift I have.  It is all I have.  I also sang "Jesus Reigns" quitely behind her followed by a few lines of, "Jesus loves you."

Satan may have won with a earthly "Stroke" but our God hahahaahhaha is much bigger and HE won with his stroke of death on the cross.   Earthly stroke vs. heavenly stroke...no matter what Joanne is going through she needs to know she already won.  Don't we all?

Joanne does cry and responds when she feels up to it.  I sense frustration, hate, hurt and even fear looking at her face.  I constantly pray for peace that surpasses no other.  I totally believe God can heal her.  Will He? That I don't know.  Should I be angry if he does not (the way I expect) as I really feel like He wants to.  What does His healing look like compared to what healing looks like to me?

"Lord over a year now is so so long...please show us your plan for Joanne. Be with her husband Glen and other family members.  They all need you!  Revelation, revelation..."

Not alone!

Grabbing a diaper and the sippy cup full of juice I said, "Come on guys Troy has an appointment.  I need you to leave on time for school" and stuffed my goods into the back pack. 

"Good bye, blessings for a great day,"  I repeat twice. Once for Bella and once for Scott as they walked out the front door and I listened as their feet crunched in the snow. 

Now it was time to get Troy, Emma and myself in the van and get heading off to Kidsability in Guelph.  Suddenly I begin to feel pressure in my heart about this appointment.  I begin to reflect on how many times I have NOT done stretches and how bad I feel. 

Knowing a very important appointment with the surgeon is creeping up in February I begin to blame myself if they plan surgery.  Why can't I find time everyday to get all stretching done?  I should push him harder even through the complaints.  What will the surgeon think of me?  Why can't God work a miracle in his tight muscles? 

Backing out of the drive way I could already hear Troy's Ipod playing his favorite song.  As I looked over my shoulder to check for traffic I glance at Emma and can't help but smile at her beautiful grin looking back at me.

Stopping at the stop sign at the end of our street all those questions pop up again.  Satan was working really hard.  Oh my gosh for that moment again I was feeling like I have let Troy done and should be doing more as a mom. 

Thankfully I have Jesus fighting away in my heart and the spirit was on top of the crazy schemes.  Suddenly I got a beautiful vision.  It was a split vision: on the left side was me doing stretches with Troy and the right side angels were doing the stretches. 

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;

Psalm 91:10-12

Reflecting all the way to Guelph I knew God was telling me it is ok...he is being taken care of even the times I can not do the stretches.  I have to say I love GOD and that I am a Christian.  Noone I know, not my mom, not Dean(husband) nor the doctors would ever be able to offer me that comfort.  My daddy GOD was saying, "I am watching and taking care of my child.  He is mine.  Give him to me."  WOW to know my son has angels with him...I can't ask for anything else for him.

Also to remember that before we do stretches to invite the Spirit and pray.  I am just so greatful Dean and I can teach our children about faith.  There is nothing like it.  Beautiful. Amazing.  Graceful.  Loving.

FAITHRAISER

Holy Spirit be with me as I write this:

I was grunting and groaning as I walked in our front door following a Christmas family get together.  How did I fit all that food in my tummy?  "Love you," I said to our little Emma as I put her down for her very late nap.  Literally plopped myself down on the couch and grabbed the lap top to check email and Facebook.

It doesn't take long before smile turns upside down as my eyes scan an email from a friend.  On our bible study group page she is requesting prayer for someone at her work who has breast cancer.  That someone happens to be our neighbor.  My frown turns jagged as I fill with anger. I begin talking to God, "Really? I have had it with the "C" word. I just want to go over and pray for her and there to be healing.  Lord our sister at church to have healing.  My father-in-laws sister for healing.  I am sick of raising money." 

Then a little revelation.  Please do not misunderstand me as I write this I think it is so amazing the hearts that raise money for Cancer.  I believe God has a purpose for that.  My revelation or vision happens.  Are we so busy raising money to find a cure that we are forgetting about Gods healing hands?  Are we forgetting to teach people to pray for healing first then raise money?

My vision is so amazing...Imagine a Faithraiser instead of a Fundraiser.  No forms or t-shirts. I see the curbs are full of people who are waiting to pray.  Hands are raised, eyes are closed, worship is happening, SPIRIT is alive, tongues are praising, eye lashes are twitching and arms are high.  Those who know a fire tunnel this would be fun. 

Then the Faithraiser starts....Jesus with his cross begins the walk.  Following Him are children with cancer, adults with cancer, people who are blind and the list is endless of those who need healing.  I would be walking down with my anxiety but quickly side step to the curb so I can pray for rest of the people.  I see thousands of angels all assigned to a certain person.

These Faithraisers can happen everyday.  God is waiting for us to ask Him.  God is waiting for us to teach people to trust in him more.  Don't google what type of cancer or disease people have google how to pray for healing.  While we need money to find a cure what we need more is people in the hospital beside beds praying for healing  or going into someones home and singing worship songs with them.  Don't tell someone, "I hope everything will be OK" declare to them, "God will take care of everything." 

While I believe God wants physical healing I also believe more so for internal healing.  Having two children with Cerebral Palsy I pray for physical healing everyday, but my Spirit says, "Pray for their hearts and minds and souls.  When they are full on the inside it won't matter how they walk or talk.  The shadows of their wheelchairs, crutches and walkers will heal others."

Surrounded by an Army

Holy Spirit guide my heart as I write this:

The heaviness I was carrying made it difficult to get in the front door of our house after church a couple of months ago.  Church was a huge let down.  Not because of our Pastor instead the spirit of anxiety I carried.  Strong enough to prevent me from entering the sanctuary for service.  Instead my amazing Christian sister sits with me just outside the sanctuary doors.  I twitched my leg back and forth listening to our Pastor preach on a bible story of a man who ran up to the front and asked for demons to be rebuked.  Wow the urge to run up to our Pastor in the middle of the service and plead for my church family to help me.  Getting a pain in my side I quickly scurry back down to the church basement where I felt safe watching the summer Sunday school take place.

Hunger for church is an understatment.  I was starving but such a force was holding me back.  As we drove home tears clouded my vision.  "What is wrong with me? I need church so bad yet I can't even sit in on a service." I thought to myself.

Once home down into our rec room I went to surround myself in my safety net.  Wondering if my problem would ever ever end.  I look out the same old window and pray for the day I wouldn't feel so alone and safe to go outdoors.

About half and hour later the Pastor's wife comes down into our rec room and shares she was thinking of me.  I was in shock.  I talk to her once in a while but for her to come over during my struggles was amazing to me.  She then came over and sat down beside me and asked how I was doing and asked if it was ok to pray for me.  She then said, "I brought a whole bus load of people to surround your house and pray." 

It took a second for the whole busload comment to sink in and I started to cry and said, "The whole bus came to pray?" 

See it was beach day and many of our youth and a few families were heading to the beach. One of my Christian brothers had on his heart during that mornings church service to come pray for me.  He then came down and greeted me with tears and a big hug and comforting reasurance he was there for me.  He too knows personally of my struggles.

Within moments over 50 brothers and sisters, young and old, even the bus driver surrounded our home and prayed for me.  Seeing the youth out with their eyes closed for me was a surreal moment.  Even if they were thinking only of the beach or what was brought for snacks the fact that they surrounded my house and made such an impact it will never ever be forgotten.  As I am down in our rec room I go to that window to see my church family standing outside with their heads bowed praying.  I was sobbing without control.  One of my very dear christians brothers come to the window and we touch hands on the screen.  He prayed and I cried and I kept saying, "Thank you, thank you." 

I felt amazing and they all clapped.  I so wanted to go to the beach with them but really what just happened was so overwhelming for me and felt so darn good, keeping that moment without distractions of the beach felt safer.  Our kids were so excited and yet surprised they all surrounded our house.  We all waved out the front door as they drove off to continue with their day at the beach. 
Me on the other hand sobbed for about half and hour after they left.  I felt peace, excited, overwhelmed, thankful and wondered if they all knew how much that changed my course of recovery.  I have never felt so loved in my life. 

After that moment every time I looked out the window I saw the house surrounded by an army.  God's loving Army.  No guns, tanks or government control.  God's obedient children just stopping by on the way to the beach to pray for our little family.  So many to thank but I praise God that he heard my cry of wanting to be a part of church and really needing prayer that day.  He knew how I wanted to run up to the pulpit and get the whole church to pray for me.

He loves me and my family so much he sent a whole bus load. He heard my cry.  My friend, Andy for listening to his heart during service.  So exciting how God works.  I love them all so much.
AMEN 

HARDENED TEARS

People do it everywhere, at church, at groups, weddings, baby showers, graduations.  That moment when the ducts open and tears flow.  Tears that do not care who is around and what is thought. 
          In my small bible group that gathers once a week I find myself in awe of those who cry around me. Hearts opening up about family situations, children struggles and even faith struggles allowing those tiniest of water falls to start.  As I find myself getting choked up feeling their every hurt or wanting to share about my many struggles out of no where like the speed of light a brick wall locks around my heart sending a hardening paste up to my eyes. How dare I cry in public.

A conversation in my mind begins:

"People will think you don't have it together Heather" I hear.

"I really feel their hurt though" I respond.  "It is ok to cry this is a safe place," I add

"Hahahahah are you kidding they won't understand why you are crying.  Especially when they hear what your small struggle is," I hear.

"Sometimes it is hard to be a parent of a child with special needs and I really need prayer," I cry inward.

"Really Heather, then they are all going to be thinking in their heads why you don't just suck it up and deal with it nothing can be changed," I hear.

"It is no different then her talking about her same family struggles all the time.  My brothers and sisters are not going to be thinking that of me," I try to declare.

"Now your just being stupid, if you say anything what do you think they will think of you and Dean adopting yet another child with special needs.  They will all think you are crazy if you can't even handle some days you have now.  Don't do it, don't ask." I hear.

"Maybe you are right.  I will be ok.  I must be strong.  I can do it myself.  There won't be enough time to talk about my struggles anyways." I say with my heart hurting but mind starting to believe.  "I could really use prayer though and to leave my baggage at the cross."

"Do I really need to remind you how many times you have left that same baggage at the cross?  It is not safe Heather, these people are going to tell others and then more people will know you can't handle being a parent." I hear.

"No my brothers and sisters here at group are safe and I know they will help me.  I need to release some of my tears.  I deserve prayer.  I am not meant to be alone in all of this.  They all know how much I love and adore my children and would do anything for them." I battle back.

"As soon as they hear your words and watch you cry they are going to think differently of you.  They are going to all talk behind your back.  You will have to walk around all the time wondering who knows about what you  talked about and if they think you are weak." I hear.

"Oh great now we are out of time at group.  It is too late.  Oh well I will wait till I get home and cry where no one knows." I cry inside.

I walk in my house and the tears flow.  Time and time again tears noone ever sees, struggles noone ever hears.

"Papa I pray for Holy Spirit water to soften my hardened tears so I can reach out to those who love me and will support me no matter how many tears or struggles I share.  Let those words that are not of you be jumbled and reworded to encourage. I pray for those moments I am brought to my knees and release everything."

WHY I WRITE

As I laid my head on my pillow after our monthly writers meeting my mind was ready to sleep  but my heart was in a downward slide as I feel the answers behind our homework.  Why I write?
I assumed I would have so many happy reasons why I write to share but my first thoughts kept me going down in big slide into really question why I do write.

Do you ever have a conversation with someone talking about something really dear to you and the listener cuts you off mid thought and switches to assume they know what you are talking about?  Or switch to somehow have a situation similar to yours?  At that moment however you just need someone to listen.

What about friends or family members who are going through a very hard time and the words are not jumping out of your mouth?

Or you want to pray for someone going through a tough time or just has a sore back or having a bad day and it is hard to speak the spirits words.

When you type you just find it easier to have time to cut and paste and re write on the pixel canvas then to share vibrations out your mouth?

Is your life full of so many moments that are hard, life changing, amazing, filled with sorrow, moments that are just made up, revelations, moments you want to forget, moments where mountains were moved, times God was there and times it felt like He disappeared?

Do you ever have midnight writings where you just can't go to sleep without writing your thoughts or ideas out?

Is there someone in your family that loves writing or is creative?

Are you surrounded by people who have read your work and still encourage you as your writing is good and tell you to keep going?

When I put my pencil to paper and have little pieces of eraser all around the paper or type and backspace or cut and paste or have crumpled up paper in the recycle bin the above reasons are just enough to keep me within 200-300 words for my homework as to WHY I WRITE.

Trying the blog thing

Been on face book for a few years now and it just does not cut it. Some how even though all on my friends list know me, they don't. My comments are dissected and analyzed and in some circumstances misinterpreted. My cry out for uplifting comments to my status does not always happen. I walk away frustrated even more then before the first word I typed. On one occasion I walked away with more tears as friends posted their comeback notes that obviously did not portray they had read my status with compassion or had taken the time to make sure my comment had any emotions attached. None the less I keep going back everyday to see how everyone is doing.

I hear in conversations talk of blogs, I see on t.v. people who blog and it reminds me of the desire to step out and try to blog. The people who have a heart to follow and listen to my heart pouring out will follow my posts. I pray connections are made.

I am a christian mom with three children. Twin boys 9 years old. Troy and Scott. Troy was born with CP (Cerebral Palsy). Isabella our daughter is 5 years old. Not only do I have lots to share about children and getting along etc, I have many words about a son with special abilities. Some days it is just tuff as behavior has become a presence in his life and affects the dynamics with his siblings. Then there is how it affects me and being able to share with people who understand or God places on here to lift up myself and/or my family.

Not only my family being lifted up but my heart to listen to others so I can pray in the good and the bad.

So I leave with this opening post.

Heather